


How can you help me if I can't help myself?

by Lonley_Ghost



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, I need help, Mentioned manipulation, Procrastinating, Rant, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Insert, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29204550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonley_Ghost/pseuds/Lonley_Ghost
Summary: I need to get this out.
Kudos: 3





	How can you help me if I can't help myself?

**Author's Note:**

> Constructive criticism is welcome.

“AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!” She screamed looking at the mirror in front of her. Tears burn her eyes as she looks at the coward in-front of her.” WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO THINK THAT _YOU_ ARE ABOVE THE RULES!” 

Feelings of self-hatred fill her up as she thinks of her actions. Lying and manipulating those she loves just to have a second of relief. The continuous looks of disappointment that sting like a belt. The speeches of responsibility that come in one ear and leave the other. The guilty pleasure that stays as she escapes the situation she put herself through in the first place. Knowing she falls right into the cycle of abuse to herself and those around her. She hates all of it, and even though it’s her fault; she blames school work for it. Feeling as if it disappeared, her life would be ideal. 

The girl growls in anger as she cries for no discerned reason. She hates all that she can see that has happened before. All that will come again if she continues this behavior. She hates herself for the predictable behavior she developed for a simple want that is only to _read_. She hates it. Her family hates it. Everyone hates it. So why does she do it? Why does she put herself in this pain? Why doesn’t she know how to just _stop_?

She wipes her tear as she makes herself presentable. Make sure no one knows of the little self-hating episode. Unlocking the bathroom door, she sees her father in his office, her mother on the couch, and her sister in the kitchen. Her mother looks up, concerned. “I’m fine don’t worry.” The girl lies. It’s easy now. Hesitantly her mother goes back to what she was doing on her phone. The girl sits down and pretends to do homework. Restarting the cycle she hates too much.


End file.
